I enjoyed your well-written, informative and sensitive feature. I have one question and then a comment. I can’t find anything in your About or your website that indicates your background as a professional or as a writer. Could you illuminate me?
My commentary is a personal one based on 66 years living on the planet. Love doesn’t really care, even quality soul-mate love, if you are healed or woke. Agreed, the chances of finding quality or soulmate love are indeed higher if you are more self-aware because then that inner shopping list and emotional instinct we all have is more honed. I used to worry that my attachment style would draw or repel a love interest until I realized – when it was right, the right person would come along and we could both work through our troublesome bits. I still believe that. (Also I am not including clinical problems or addiction here)
But all this said, Love cares naught about timing or circumstances. It finds you or doesn’t find you (i.e. your time table and preference) as it likes. That’s the joy of Love. It’s not just a psychological thing, it’s a mystical and holy thing to a great extent, especially soulmate love, never mind loving compatibility.
Sure, working on yourself if helpful and a great ‘meanwhile’ thing – no one goes away from inner work without finding much benefit and a better way to go through life but it’s not the anecdote to your luck with love.
Besides which, you can work on yourself all you want and the job is never finished. There is no cut-off point to healing like a switch; we are ongoing works in progress. Love is not the reward for looking in, healing, forgiving and compassion work. It’s part of the whole swirling journey.
And last, sometimes we heal 90% on our own, that last 10%? Love is that finishing touch.